Why I Won’t Be a Bridesmaid

“Whether it’s for you or your bridesmaids, having bridesmaids can make things very expensive. It’s a normal etiquette to pay for their dresses, which is part of the reason we commonly stick to less than five. If you decide to pay for anything else for them such as hotel rooms, accessories or gifts, it can get very pricey for you. Not to mention any extras they’ll have to pay for, such as they’re own shoes, a gift for you, any money going into the hen or bridal shower adds up too. Deciding to have no bridesmaids gets rid of some of the expense o ease those feelings of guilt that are bound to creep up on you though, here are valid reasons you shouldn’t feel bad about not popping the question to your best girlfriends.”

bachelorette kirsten dunst lizzy caplan isla fischer

“I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.”

You know that line from an infamous Post-it note. But I know it from the multiple times I’ve used it to say that no, I won’t be your bridesmaid.

It’s not that I don’t love you. (I do.)

It’s not that I despise your fiancé. (He’s awesome, and I love how he makes you happy.)

It’s not that I frown on marriage. (It’s beautiful and fulfilling…I hope.)

Really, it’s simpler than that. I can’t be your bridesmaid because I’m too busy to attend bachelorette weekends, multiple showers, endless trips to the tailor, and…

Wait. Honestly? That’s only half the reason.

The other half is a gut-shaking feeling that’s hard to define and even harder to admit. But here goes: I can’t be your bridesmaid because I think bridesmaids shouldn’t exist. l think it’s cruel to expect your fellow besties to invest considerable funds and time into proving we’re your friend…at the very moment you’re entering a union that, by definition, means we’re stepping aside for your new “best friend and partner.”

Read more: http://www.elle.com/culture/news/a15338/bridesmaid-protest/