13 Signs You Need To Visit A Marriage Counselor

“Most couples wait too long before seeking help. In truth, you are best served if you seek help sooner rather than later. Negative communication and withdrawal can be equally detrimental. When conversations quickly turn negative, partners can feel depressed, insecure, and disregarded. Withdrawing from or avoiding conversation can have the same effect, and has the added negative result of making unspoken complaints increase in importance and severity as they remain unaddressed.”

We believe we’re getting the fairytale when we get married. You know — meet “the one,” have a whirlwind courtship, get married and live happily ever after. What the fairytales don’t tell you is that relationships take work.

Often times, we don’t go into a relationship with the tools to manage the challenges, which is where the pros come in. And by pros, I mean a counselor or therapist who can help you learn new ways of relating to your partner.

The question is: when do you know it’s time to consider marriage counseling? Here are some trigger points and behaviors that are signs you may need help.

1. When you aren’t talking. In all honesty, many relationship challenges are simply challenges in communication. A therapist can help facilitate new ways to communicate with each other. Once communication has deteriorated, often it is hard to get it going back in the right direction.

2. When you’re talking, but it’s always negative. Negative communication can include anything that leaves one partner feeling judged, shamed, disregarded, insecure or wanting to withdraw from the conversation. Negative communication also includes the tone of conversation because it’s not always what you say, but how you say it. Negative communication can escalate into emotional abuse as well as non-verbal communication.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/02/marriage-counseling-_n_5412473.html

Teenagers (15-17 years of age)

“Today’s young people, our children, belong to the most promising generation in the history of the world. They stand at the summit of the ages. They also stand at the crossroads of two great paths. It’s appropriate for your teen to want to make her own decisions now, and to think for herself. And yet teens are still developing, and have widely varying levels of maturity. It can be a scary time for parents, especially those who don’t yet trust their teen’s judgment.”

teenager

Developmental Milestones

This is a time of changes for how teenagers think, feel, and interact with others, and how their bodies grow. Most girls will be physically mature by now, and most will have completed puberty. Boys might still be maturing physically during this time. Your teen might have concerns about her body size, shape, or weight. Eating disorders also can be common, especially among girls. During this time, your teen is developing his unique personality and opinions. Relationships with friends are still important, yet your teen will have other interests as he develops a more clear sense of who he is. This is also an important time to prepare for more independence and responsibility; many teenagers start working, and many will be leaving home soon after high school.

Here is some information on how teens develop:

Emotional/Social Changes

Children in this age group might:

  • Have more interest in the opposite sex.
  • Go through less conflict with parents.
  • Show more independence from parents.
  • Have a deeper capacity for caring and sharing and for developing more intimate relationships.
  • Spend less time with parents and more time with friends.
  • Feel a lot of sadness or depression, which can lead to poor grades at school, alcohol or drug use, unsafe sex, and other problems.

Read more: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/adolescence2.html

Domestic Violence

“Women are more likely to experience domestic violence, forms of abuse occur between all kinds of couples, whether of the opposite or same sex, married or unmarried. While financial factors contribute to the problem, the causes of domestic violence involve psychological issues that we must deal with in order to stop the cycle of abuse. In addition to listening to this critical inner voice, couples involved in domestic violence have often forged a destructive connection, an illusion that they cannot live without each other.”

Domestic Violence

What’s the difference between normal conflict and domestic violence? Conflict is part of every intimate relationship–that’s why conflict resolution skills are important. Domestic violence, however, has no place in a healthy relationship, whether the couple is dating, engaged, married or cohabiting.

What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence is any kind of behavior that a person uses, or threatens to use, to control an intimate partner. The two key elements are threat and control. Domestic violence can take various forms:

Physical – Violent actions such as hitting, beating, pushing, and kicking. In many cases physical abuse becomes more frequent and severe over time.

Sexual – Includes any sexual acts that are forced on one partner by the other

Psychological – Includes a wide range of behaviors such as intimidation, isolating the victim from friends and family, controlling where the victim goes, making the victim feel guilty or crazy, and making unreasonable demands…

Read more: http://www.foryourmarriage.org/everymarriage/overcoming-obstacles/domestic-violence/

I’m A Stay-At-Home Mom, Should I Get A Job?

“A good mother and devoted wife is a priceless blessing in any family. There is just no amount of money that can be attached to this role. The value of a devoted wife and mother is priceless and deserves compensation and the courts know that. But the fact is that life is not fair, and your ex may not be able to pay what you deserve. Use your attorney to get what you can but know that the best approach will include a sound game of reeducation, reentry into the work force, and a positive attitude that you are capable of great things.”

I'm A Stay-At-Home Mom, Should I Get A Job?

To Work Or Not During A Divorce?

Q: I’m a stay-at-home mom. I’m getting divorced. Should I get a job?
A.
If it looks like divorce is inevitable and you’ve been a stay at home mom, you will have to do a great deal of planning to support yourself in your post-divorce life. Here are some tips for before, during and after the divorce.

1. Planning Before Divorce:
First, look at your skills. If you have a college degree or some kind of training, you can focus on getting those skills up to date and ready for the job market. If you don’t have skills, now is the time to start working on acquiring them, and the sooner the better. Look to see if there is a local career counselor who specializes in counseling women re-entering the job market.

 It’s best to go ahead and get a job and start working before the divorce is final. For one thing, it will build up your confidence and show you that you can make it on your own. Another reason is that you will need credit and a work history for a mortgage, apartment or credit cards. It’s a good idea to have a work history of earning your own money, even if it’s just a short time such as three to six months.

How We Became Strangers

There are several things we need in order to survive: food, water, and air to name a few. Nothing hurts quite like a failing marriage, and there is no loneliness as intense as living with a stranger, especially one that used to be your best friend. Just like we need these essentials to survive physically, marriages need certain things to survive emotionally. Marriages need love, trust, truth, patience, kindness, and understanding. When a marriage is deprived of such things, it can slowly begin to die.”

unhappy couple

A sexy courtship, a marriage, a young son. And then a courteous drifting apart. But an icy glimpse into her future brought Jill Bialosky back to the love of her life.

I sat at an outdoor café with an old friend I hadn’t seen in nearly a year. It was spring. The pond was beginning to thaw. The daffodils were in bloom. Triangles and rectangles of pale yellows lay patchwork style around the trees. A teenage girl with a series of pierces in her earlobe tucked her hand into her boyfriend’s back pocket as they waited for a table, and I remembered the boy who had slipped his hands into the pockets of my hiphuggers and asked, “Do you want to?” before we lay down in the grass. At the table next to us, a couple hovered over their cappuccinos in intense conversation. I noticed the woman had taken off her slingback sandal and was rubbing her bare foot against the calf of the man across from her. My friend and I conversed nonstop. We moaned about how tired we were, between cupcakes to make for the class picnic, expense reports to finish, a novel that needed to be turned in. The long, lavish lunch was a brief intermission in our lives. We gossiped about mutual friends and fantasized about trips to Italy and France. During dips in our conversation, I found myself looking at the teenage couple now seated at a table, their chairs side by side. They kissed. The boy with the lean body underneath a V-neck sweater put his hand under the back of his girlfriend’s shirt. Our conversation moved to our children, kindergartens, tantrums, bed-wets. We talked about our mothers and sisters. At the end of the lunch, my friend looked into my eyes as if she were peering into the farthest reaches of my soul and asked me about my marriage. “Are you guys having sex?” she asked bluntly. And this image blossomed in my head of D.’s face covered in pox marks as he lay on our couch, miserable and not talking, quarantined in our house like a leper, having caught chicken pox from our son. I wanted to burst out laughing.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/How-to-Revive-Your-Marriage-O-Magazine

Why Fake Cameras Are Useful To Stop Crimes

Crime rates have always been drastically growing. Where you go, absolutely nothing is apparently secure anymore. This is why a lot of people are securing their houses and taking precautionary and security measures to make certain their properties are very well protected and safe. More than ever before, more and more people are using surveillance cameras to protect their houses, office and business. On the other hand, you possibly can lower your expenses and maintenance time by having a fake security camera to your security system.”

Photo by www.china-inno.com

To most of us, home security is indeed a large concern. The last thing on earth we want to happen is to spend our hard-earned money and valuable time buying, collecting, and otherwise acquiring personal belongings and ending up in the hands of some criminal who wander onto our property either stealing or damaging them. Many of us also feel not comfortable considering the likelihood a burglar may wish to break our personal space. If you intent to safeguard your personal property and home, then security cameras are the best way to go. Unfortunately, not everybody can pay for some of the more elaborate security systems available on the market today. The trick though, is to obtain fake equipment that so completely resembles the actual thing, that would-be thieves are not able to know the difference.

1. Fake cameras appears to be so real that at times it is possible to no longer recognize the real and the fake. Some models even feature a flashing LED light, that makes the fake camera seem to actually be working. When this equipment is visible, burglars stop their plans.

2. No criminal would wish to present their identity to the people given the fact that they are doing unlawful thing. That’s the reason why burglars check first on the environment of their residence target. Once they knew that a property or an business has surveillance camera (not knowing if its fake) will definitely drive them off.

3. Regardless of whether burglars suspect that the camera is a fake, the uncertainty could still be enough to keep them from committing an offence. It wouldn’t be worth it for them to take the risk (in their mind). Especially when there are many other locations to visit which have no security equipment at all.

4. On the subject of fake cameras, your maintenance expenditures is going to be lower because of using fake cameras. Since the cameras aren’t real, you will not have to spend cash to keep them operational.

It doesn’t matter how realistic or expensive a fake security camera looks, it remains a fake camera. It is really still advised to have a real surveillance camera, however a fake camera can also be an addition to your real ones. It is possible to lace the fake cams in exceptionally visible areas so everybody will know they are being watched. No one is the wiser than they are really not being watched. Then place real cameras in places that you have precious assets, high traffic or out of sight areas that have loads of activity.

 

What Can I Say That’s Actually Helpful in Times of Grief?

“When a friend loses a loved one, our hearts ache for them. We want so much to comfort, soothe and make things better, yet we end up sputtering out the wrong words because we don’t know what to say when someone dies. There will be times outside the funeral when you will see your friend or family member whose loved one has died. Don’t avoid the situation completely. The first time you see the person go ahead and offer your condolences. If you avoid the situation, you will either make the other person uncomfortable or lead them to believe that you haven’t yet heard the news.”

What Can I Say That's Actually Helpful in Times of Grief?

Dear Lifehacker,
This year has been a very difficult one for me. A close friend passed away and a few other people I know also lost loved ones. I never know what to say or how to act at times like these. What can I say when nothing seems appropriate or it all sounds like cliches?

Signed,
Stumbling for Words

Dear Stumbling,
We’re sorry to hear that. It’s hard not to feel at a loss for words. When someone you care about or know is grieving, words don’t seem to be enough. Expressing your care and support, though, could do a world of good for both the other person and yourself.

 While there’s really no “right” or “wrong” way to help someone grieve, some things might be better to say than others. I spoke with several mental health experts and those familiar with bereavement to find the best approach for this awkward and tough situation we unfortunately all experience.

What to Avoid Saying

Some phrases and words of advice, even if they’re well-intentioned, could make others feel worse and magnify their grief. In general, try to avoid:

Comparing their loss to yours: When someone dies, it makes us think about our own experiences, but saying “I know just how you feel—when my mother/friend/dog died last year…” isn’t comforting. Even though you’re trying to help or connect by empathizing, it might feel insulting to the other person, like you’re trying to minimize the pain he or she is feeling. Andrew Moore, a licensed professional counselor at the University of Oklahoma HSC, says that even if there are similarities to your experiences, their experience is still unique to them. Every death is also unique. A more appropriate response may be to acknowledge—without direction and empathy—that this is a difficult time, e.g., “This must be very difficult, and I can’t truly understand what it must be like right now,” offers clinical social worker Stuart Strauzer. Then give more comforting words or gestures of support (see below).

Read more: http://lifehacker.com/5941009/what-can-i-say-thats-actually-helpful-in-times-of-grief

10 Best Beach Activities for the Family

“The weather was just perfect to hit the beach this weekend. Although all children seem to love being on the beach, sometimes you need to have some ideas for keeping them entertained above and beyond swimming and building sandcastles. Get ready for fun in the sun and sand. Once your little kids have exhausted the waves, there are plenty of land-based activities to keep them busy until sunset.”

best beach activities for the whole family

Do your summer plans say BEACH?  If so, you’re going to love this list of fun things to do with kids.

Honestly, it takes a lot to motivate me to go to the beach.  Mostly, because I don’t enjoy sunbathing, I seriously turn another shade of brown within 10 minutes of being in the sun. I love my sun-kissed skin color just the way it is.  So with that said I try to plan activities that our kids will enjoy doing at the beach which they can enjoy under the umbrella for some shade breaks.

Most of these activities were not planned before I left home so I had to work with the things I found around the beach and where we were staying. Which makes them pretty simple and easy to put together. Also, I usually search the internet after I write a post or in preparing for an article just to see how original my work is and I must say I didn’t find any articles that had these unique activities in their post. Most of them had things like go find seashells, make a sand castle… and those are great but I wanted to share something different.

So enjoy our unique list of beach activities for you and your family.

Read more: http://inspiredbyfamilymag.com/2013/05/18/10-best-beach-activities-for-the-family/

51 Fun Weekend Ideas for Your Family

“Children learn their most impactful lessons at home. The examples parents present have a greater effect on the choices children later make than any other outside force. Planning a family holiday can be a lot like planning dinner. You may think it is quicker and easier if you make all the decisions, but including the kids in the planning process helps avoid sulks, and will buy you some time to indulge in window shopping or a sneaky afternoon nap. While weekends are a time for relaxation and rejuvenation, they also provide the perfect opportunity for lessons in physical fitness. Setting the standard for physical activity early in their lives will benefit your children into adulthood.”

51 Fun Ideas For weekend

Monday morning I met John at the cafeteria. He was brewing coffee and I was there for a cup of tea. He sighed in between the conversation and said “5 more days”. Seeing my puzzled look, he explained further – “to the weekend”. We all wait for the weekend the whole week. Almost 60 hours of time, but most of the time we don’t really pre-plan to do anything on a weekend.

There are so much to do, there are people around, things around. You need to find time and company of your family and friends. I have prepared 51 family fun ideas, these can be applicable to your friends as well.

If I ask, you may say “something fun”. Well, what exactly? I was searching for it for years. These days my fun is sitting in front of the computer and blogging my way through the weekend. Obviously, SMB hates it.

If you ask me how many we do from below. I’ll seriously have to think if we do any. I prepared this list out of my not-so-creative mind. See, if you find a few interesting

51 Weekend ideas that are certainly entertaining and fun yet inexpensive

  1. Go for a fun bike ride. Make sure you look onto bicycle safety. Odds are your family will enjoy cycling for sure. Buy the best bike ever and enjoy outdoor activities. You will be able to implement good habits, too.
  2. Buy a kite. You can even buy a remote control model (Search “RC airplane” on Google). RC airplanes are a lot of fun. Apart of being trendy, this is an innovative and sophisticated toy. Most families enjoy playing with RC models. Don’t hesitate to ask for specifics and guidelines.
  3. Play Frisbee or catch. What if you don’t own one? You can get a plastic disc, a lid may be. Thus, homemade options are viable. There are no excuses in terms of money. You can play non-stop or until you get tired.
  4. Choose a tour. You can consider touring a fun and historic local establishment, such as a radio station, an old newspaper, etc. You will be amazed on the many benefits that this can bring right away. It is about becoming in touch with local culture, too. Ask around and try to spot the best place.

Read more: http://onecentatatime.com/51-frugal-fun-weekend-ideas-for-a-family/

Different Bathtub Materials

Bathtubs have several features. They’re made for comfort and ease, for you to clean your body as well as for leisure. The earliest documented proof of a personal-sized bathtub was found around the Isle of Crete which had been made out of hardened pottery. In the past, it is only utilized by royals and upper class families however now it’s available for everyone. If you’re thinking of replacing your old tub and want to make the most of your new investment, you should look at the price, style, color, shape, measurements, and material used and its convenience.”

Photo by www.inspirationgreen.com
These days, there are already a lot of bathtubs with many types which you could see in the market. Each varies in design, shape, material which makes it difficult to get the best one for the home. Aside from that, it gets more complicated when you have to adhere to a certain concept in the home. You have to include in your criteria the color and design that would suit the overall look of the place. If before it us uncommon for the common family to get an indoor bathtub,but today every household could have one in their respective home.

One important aspect in getting a bathtub is the materials used. You may choose any of them according to your environment, color, or concept of your bathroom style. True indeed that almost any kind of tub could work, however not all can offer fantastic fulfillment. Anybody can like a bath in the bathtub, but the actual hassle begins with regards to the hassle of cleaning and maintaining it regularly. To avoid worthless and high maintenance bathtubs, allow me to share samples of baththub materials to provide you with an idea of every type.

Acrylic bathtubs tend to be quite light therefore can be made in large styles without placing an excessive amount of strain on the floor. Acrylic essentially is a form of plastic and is another substance utilized to make bathtubs. Its benefits are highly polished, much like the enameled visual appeal on cast iron bathtubs. It issignificantly lighter in weight as compared to cast iron.

Cast iron: Cast iron bathtubs are usually the most long-lasting, yet they cost a tad little more in comparison to other materials. Cast iron is strong stuff itself, and it also avoids dents and chips. The stuff is heavy thus bathroom floor ought to be strengthened. They are renowned for both their attractiveness and longevity. They can be very resistant against scratching, and their remarkable power means that you can frequently find antique cast iron bathtubs in excellent condition.

• Superior Solid Surface: These types of solid surfaces are created from stone resin combinations thus providing the feel and look of stone, yet with additional toughness. These could be carved into any sort of shape with respect to your bathroom bathtub design concepts. Apart from this, they are really easy to sustain as well.

Cultured marble bathtubs make use of crushed marble and resins to create a solid surface. It appears a lot like quartz. They are generally enclosed in a clear gel coat and offer a strong, easy to clean, and stain free surface. They may be simple to form. The material is brittle and won’t excuse very poor set up or over tightening of the faucet as well as the spouts. Cracks are not often repairable and marks may be buffed out. The primary trouble with these tubs is definitely the extended sturdiness associated. They merely do not stand the test of times also.