Rekindle the Romance in Your Marriage

For those that are starting to find married life difficult it is essential to look at different ways to put more energy and passion in the relationship. There are a variety of things that can impact a marriage over time such as growing older, raising kids, and a busy career.


Can I be perfectly honest with you? Romance doesn’t come naturally to me. Physical intimacy absolutely does. But romance … that’s another story. I didn’t have good role models growing up and I just don’t think about it as much as the woman I am happily married to for the last 32 years does.

Last Valentine’s Day, I tried to change all that. Okay, it was a last-minute thought, but I decided to buy Cathy roses on my way home from work on the big day. I walked into the busiest flower shop in the world with all the other last-minute shoppers (all guys) who were looking a bit lost. I knew what I wanted and confidently walked right up to the counter and announced, “I would like a dozen long stemmed red roses.”

I was staring at a beautiful bouquet of short stemmed roses for $38.00. The woman smiled and went to the back room, bringing back the dozen long stemmed roses for $84.00. Not only does romance not come naturally to me, but neither does paying $84.00 for such a perishable item as roses!  I looked over at the cheaper roses and didn’t have the courage to change my order.

I brought home the most expensive roses I had ever seen to my wife. She was ecstatic. Even Cathy’s friend, who was at our home at the time, was impressed. Cathy went searching for a vase while I basked in the accolades from her friend at what a romantic husband I was. Life was good.

Cathy came back to the kitchen with a small vase and scissors in order to cut the long stemmed roses to make them short enough to fit the vase. After my initial shock, I quickly offered to go buy a bigger vase but she insisted that the roses were lovely and all she had to do was cut them to make them fit the vase she had – which she proceeded to do.  I watched helplessly as my $84.00 roses had just become $38.00 roses.

Frankly, it wasn’t about the size of the flowers, it’s the thought that counts. My flower financial fiasco told Cathy I was thinking about her. The flowers and a wonderful candlelit dinner created by yours truly did the trick.

This is an oversimplification, but many men just don’t put in the time to be intentional about romance. For whatever reason, we don’t give romance the attention it deserves. Too many people think the words “intentional” and “romance” shouldn’t be in the same sentence. I disagree. For those of us who don’t usually act like we are fresh off the set of an Italian or French romance movie, we need to learn to be intentional about bringing romance to our relationship. Frankly, if you are too tired or too distracted to work on romance in your marriage then something is very wrong.

In your relationship, putting time and attention toward romance honors your spouse. Paul’s advice to the Romans works well: “Be devoted to one another…Honor one another above …


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