Long Distance Relationship Guide

Long distance relationship or often called LDR is somehow a huge concern for every couple. Lacking frequent physical contact could take a wedge between partners in such relationships. So when discussing LDR, your trust to each other could be tested. But exactly how could you cope up and handle this condition? Below are some LDR tips may work out for women out there.

I. Talk about your anticipations. A key element in long distance guide is that you must mention your desires and expectations from one another.

a. Him and you. Make sure he understands about what you would like in the relationship considering the fact that being with each other physically isn’t feasible. Speak about what you both expect from each other and the relationship. . To ensure that your situation to become not a obstacle, you should both have an understanding to the condition. You have to be mindful of the limits yet still make an effort harder and be willing to compromise for things to go firm.

(C) Pinterest
(C) Pinterest

b. Him and other girls. Do you permit him to date other women? Is there any boundaries when it comes to girl work colleagues and all? Talk to him your reactions to other girls, if there is any.

c. You and other boys. See whether you have any limitations to other fellas. Are you permitted to meet up with them? If there’s no issue, up to what degree is okay? Will there be an issue with hugs? Or perhaps kisses?

II. Agree on communication. A long distance relationship guide is that you must agree with the sort and regularity of interaction to ensure you don’t expect him to contact you every day while he thinks that messaging you each week is okay.

III. Avoid the negative talk! Another long distance relationship guide is basically that you should keep the talk positive. You mustn’t lie however, you do not want him fearing speaking to you.

a. Don’t guilt him. Always remember that just as much as you wish him to be with you all the time, that is not possible any more. He have factors behind being away therefore fully understand and never blame or guilt him on the circumstance. We must think that if really loves you, absolutely nothing nor distance can impair your love for each other. Remember, he is just a normal person with feelings so understand him..

b. Find a way to handle your suspicions! If you have a dubious mind (and who doesn’t) then you definitely must find approaches to contain your worries. Pointing fingers to him and accusing of things he did not do could ruin the relationship. Hence, be able to manage it and find a way to address it.

IV. Stay engaged and enthusiastic about life. A long distance relationship advise is basically that you mustn’t reduce your vibrancy and love for life that he finds so engaging. Life will extend you and bring out different facets of the wonderful woman, that you are. So always keep living to the full.

V. Look and feel great! Despite the fact that he could not see you that much, still never forget to liven up yourself. This happens through your mind-set and dialogue.

This long distance relationship guide should help you sail through your relationship.

 

Why Being Addicted to Someone Is Not the Same as Being In Love

Being addicted to someone is not healthy. In fact this can become a very big problem for both people in the relationship. Let’s take a look of the signs of how being addicted to someone can turn into an unhealthy, obsessive type of relationship.

There are all sorts of things to be addicted to. It is possible to be addicted to someone. Like any other addiction, it is super bad but feels really good.

With addiction, it means you depend on or habitually need it. It is highly possible to be addicted to someone, which is never a good thing. Sure, you want to love someone, but being addicted to them is not about love. It is about needing someone to fulfill you.

(C0 Pinterest
(C0 Pinterest

Typically, when addicted to someone, they aren’t very good for us, but they bring us some sort of satisfaction or fill a void. Also, like other addictions, being addicted to someone is very difficult to overcome, which is why many people stay in abusive relationships.

10 signs you are addicted to someone

How do you know if you are addicted to someone? The signs are probably pretty clear to everyone besides you. If these things describe you, then it might be time to distance yourself from the person you are with and find a way to fill the void that you feel.

Read more: http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/better-love/addicted-to-someone-not-love

 

Fathers Have An Even Greater Influence on Daughters Than You May Realize

Bonding is about sharing love and tears. Little girls gain their first reflection of themselves as a female from their father. To know more about father-daughter relationship, read on as this article discusses about the roles of a father in the life of his daughter.

When it comes to raising girls, moms often get most of the pressure and the credit. Whether regarding menstrual issues, boy problems, or makeup tips, mom is usually the first person girls turn to. This side-lining of dads is prevalent in pop culture as well — many popular TV shows often portray dads as bumbling buffoons when it comes to “girl stuff.” All of this can leave dads feeling marginalized or helpless and, even worse, can prevent girls from getting all the benefits of a tight bond with their father. Dads aren’t moms, this is true, and that is exactly why daughters need them.

(C) Pinterest
(C) Pinterest

A lot has changed for dads over the past few generations, says Gary Brown, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles. “Seventy-five years ago, fathers weren’t even allowed in the delivery room; now, dads are there from the very beginning,” he says. “Fathers today are much more informed and involved with their children, taking an active part in the nurturing of their children, from feeding — whether expressed breast milk or formula — to changing diapers, soothing, clothing, bathing, reading to, and helping their baby go to sleep.”

This parenting paradigm shift has led to significant benefits for both dads and daughters, he says. By being an integral part of these early years, dads have the opportunity to form a significant bond with their infant daughters, creating a healthy inter-dependency and helping their daughters recognize them as a consistent source of nurturing, safety, protection, respect, and love. This provides a secure base from which a girl learns to explore the world and interact with others.

Read more: http://www.womansday.com/relationships/family-friends/a60132/ways-fathers-influence-daughters

 

6 Big Mistakes That Destroy Family Relationships

One of the most difficult matters to confront when it comes to family relationships is that you don’t have complete control over it. You cannot control another member of your family. You can’t change them and you can’t fix them and you can’t make them be like you.

 

Family should be a person’s first source for love, acceptance, and support. Unfortunately, many extended families are failing miserably as the people within the family do things to undercut family unity. Understanding the problem is the first step in finding a solution.

6 things that destroy extended family include:

1. Insults and Criticism

Words carry weight. In some cases they can carry the weight of the world. When unkind words are said to family, they hurt. Your family is supposed to be your source of encouragement and support. Negative words damage the core of family relationships. Some family members may say things off the cuff and think that because these things were said casually, they don’t hurt the other person. The truth is that such words hurt, however they are said. When negative words are spoken to family members it creates a chasm in the relationship. It takes time and positive interactions to repair the harm that is done when insults, criticisms, and jabs take place.

When there is any outpouring of these negative words to a family member the chasm can grow so great that it can almost seem beyond repair. Any relationship can be resolved with apologies and forgiveness, but the hurt can still remain long after words are exchanged. Be careful with your words. Remind yourself that as family you are there to be one another’s greatest supporters in life. Tearing others in the family down with words is destructive to the family unit. Keep the old adage in mind when speaking to your family “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.

If there are people in your family who have problems with words, then set the example and set it strong. Use words that encourage and uplift family members. Doing so makes you a person that others want to be around. People don’t want to be around people who make them feel bad. They want to be around those who make them feel good about themselves. Help your family by looking for the positive in each and every person, so that you can set the example of using words that uplift fellow family members.

2. Gossip

Gossip is very damaging. Most often gossip occurs when someone is upset by something related to the person they are gossiping about. It may make a person feel better temporarily, but in the end it does not solve the problem as the gossip itself is certainly not done out of kindness or love. If you have a problem or issue with someone in the family then go to them directly. You don’t need to announce your issue in front of the whole family. Some people do this to force family members to choose sides in a situation .

When sides are taken, there is a divide in the family. Instead, go to that person privately with whom you have a problem. Discuss the issues, but do so with the the goal of reconciliation. Doing so with hardness in your heart or wanting to attribute blame won’t solve the problem.

 

Read more: http://www.lifehack.org/453749/6-big-mistakes-that-destroy-family-relationships

How To Forgive In 3 Steps (And Truly Be Able To Move On)

We all know that breakups can be painful, and that it’s hard to trust and be in love with again. But there are ways to get past the pain. Here is some advice for healing the heartbreak.

 

Don’t think that revenge solves anything.

Forgiveness is the act of compassionately releasing the desire to punish someone or yourself for an offense. It’s a state of grace, nothing you can force or pretend. There are no short cuts.

Mistakenly, some of my patients, wanting to be “spiritual,” have prematurely tried to forgive after someone emotionally knifes them in the gut. You must first feel anger before you can begin to forgive. I gradually guide patients to the large-heartedness of forgiving injuries either caused by others or self-inflicted.

Revenge is the desire to get even when someone does you wrong. It’s natural to feel angry and to say, “I’m not going to let that **** get away with this.” However, revenge reduces you to your worst self, puts you on the same level with those spiteful people we claim to abhor. Additionally, studies have shown that revenge increases stress and impairs health and immunity.

Sure, if someone hits you with a stick, you have the impulse to hit them back — the basis for war. To thrive personally and as a species, we must resist this predictable lust for revenge, and seek to right wrongs more positively. This doesn’t make you a pushover; you’re just refusing to act in a tediously destructive way antithetical to ever finding peace.

What I’m suggesting is a version of “turn the other cheek,” yet still doing everything to preserve what’s important to you. The hard part, though, is watching someone “get away with something” when there’s nothing you can do about it.

Yes, your wife left you for the yoga instructor. Yes, your colleague sold you out. With situations like this in my life, I take solace in the notion of karma — that sooner or later, what goes around comes around. Also, know that the best revenge is your success, happiness and the triumph of not giving vindictive people any dominion over your peace of mind.

Forgiveness refers to the actor, not the act. Not to the offense, but the woundedness of the offender. This doesn’t mean you’ll run back to your battering spouse because of compassion for the damaged person he or she is. Of course, you want to spare yourself mistreatment.

However, from a distance, you can try to forgive the conscious or unconscious suffering that motivates people. Our desire to transform anger is a summoning of peace, well worth the necessary soul stretching.

Here’s how to forgive someone in three steps. Though they may not be easy, they are much better than letting yourself become consumed by revenge and anger.

1. Identify one person you’re angry with. 

Start with someone low on your list, not your rageaholic father. Then you can get a taste of forgiveness quickly. After that, you can proceed to tackle more challenging targets.

 

See more: http://www.yourtango.com/2016297817/how-to-forgive-someone-in-three-steps

7 Signs He Wants to Be More Than Friends

Will he fancy me? Will he desire to be more than friends? These are the kinds of questions that may toss and turn in the someone’s head and drive her crazy.

 

Are you reading him right? Here are 7 signs he likes you as more than a friend, plus 10 ways to know if he’s the right boyfriend for you. The best way to know if you should be more than friends with a guy is your gut feeling.

When you’re thinking about being more than friends, remember that the people you spend time with affect your life in serious and permanent ways. Your friends affect your moods, activities, choices, and even your future. So, don’t just ask “are we more than friends?” Decide if you actually – really and truly – WANT to be more than friends with him, and if his choices and lifestyle is good for you. Is he supportive, kind, and trustworthy – and does he help you be your best self? If you can answer “yes” to those questions, then you should definitely be looking for these signs he wants to be more than friends with you…

While you’re scrolling through these signs he is in love with you, remember how you feel when you’re with him. Don’t let your desire to have a boyfriend distract you from choosing a guy who is right for you. Most importantly, pay attention to your gut instincts, to the signs you want to be more than friends with him – because ultimately it doesn’t matter what he wants from you. What matters more is where you want your life to go, who you want to be in your life, and why you’re getting into this new relationship.

Ask yourself: do you really want to be more than friends? Go slowly – take your time before you answer that question. Is he a good guy? Would want your little sister or best friend to date him?

“Does He Like Me More Than a Friend?”

If you feel obsessed with the thought of how much he likes you, learn how to stop overthinking and over-analyzing your relationship. Just let that still small voice tell you what you need to know.

Don’t rush into a relationship, even if you know he wants to be more than friends. Take your time, go slow, and listen to both your heart and your mind.

Sometimes you know that a guy likes you more than a friend

I was friends with my husband for 17 years before we got married! I knew he wanted to be more than friends the …

 

Read more: http://howloveblossoms.com/signs-you-should-be-more-than-friends/

 

Have a Romantic Long Distance Relationship

There is simply a probability that a couple deals with long distance relationship. Having no frequent physical contact might take a wedge between couples in such relationships. When distance has become an issue, the trust and loyalty are put to trial. Exactly what can you do to properly guide a long distance relationship? Right here LDR advice that may work out for females out there.

Image result
http://www.neverwhatyouthink.com/

1) Speak about your expectations. Among the essential aspects in the long distance relationship is your understanding towards each other. Everything should be agreed.

– You and Him. Make sure he understands of what you want in the relationship because being with each other physically is not possible. Speak about what you both be expecting from each other and the relationship. . And come to a mutual understanding as to what it is that any of you is likely to provide, where you both want the relationship to go too as well as what you are going to get from one another.

– Him and other gals. Is there a worry with him being with some other ladies, whether or not close friends or colleagues? Up to what degree is he permitted to interact with them What areas of his life can he tell other ladies?

– You and other guys. See whether you’ve any limits to other fellas. Are you permitted to go out with them? Are hugs fine? Or how about friendly pecks on the cheeks?

2) Communication Setup. The most significant approach to update each other is by frequent connection. You have to specify a time on your skype or SNS date or duration of your calls to make out the gaps between.

3) A lot less negativities! To hold things in the light spirit, constantly talk about positive things. Of course, you may still confide with him your but not to the extent that he’ll be and concerned much.

– Don’t guilt him. Always remember that as much as you want him to be with you at all times, that’s not possible anymore. He have factors behind being away therefore understand and don’t blame or guilt him on the circumstance. We’ve been made to believe that if a man adores you then absolutely nothing (not even distance) will keep him from you. Remember, he is just a normal person with feelings so understand him.

– Find ways to deal with your doubts! Women’s instinct might result to accusations and other trust issues! We worry that what we think is always correct. Doubts and false speculation can always ruin a relationship. So before you threaten him with your suspicions, get your truth first.

4) Have an excited life perspective. Enjoy life to the fullest extent. Not being with someone physically indicates your world has ended. Learn to value life more and utilize the situation for self-growth and development.

5) Look and feel great! Although he could not see you that much, still never forget to liven up yourself. This happens by your mind-set and conversation.

13 Signs You Need To Visit A Marriage Counselor

“Most couples wait too long before seeking help. In truth, you are best served if you seek help sooner rather than later. Negative communication and withdrawal can be equally detrimental. When conversations quickly turn negative, partners can feel depressed, insecure, and disregarded. Withdrawing from or avoiding conversation can have the same effect, and has the added negative result of making unspoken complaints increase in importance and severity as they remain unaddressed.”

We believe we’re getting the fairytale when we get married. You know — meet “the one,” have a whirlwind courtship, get married and live happily ever after. What the fairytales don’t tell you is that relationships take work.

Often times, we don’t go into a relationship with the tools to manage the challenges, which is where the pros come in. And by pros, I mean a counselor or therapist who can help you learn new ways of relating to your partner.

The question is: when do you know it’s time to consider marriage counseling? Here are some trigger points and behaviors that are signs you may need help.

1. When you aren’t talking. In all honesty, many relationship challenges are simply challenges in communication. A therapist can help facilitate new ways to communicate with each other. Once communication has deteriorated, often it is hard to get it going back in the right direction.

2. When you’re talking, but it’s always negative. Negative communication can include anything that leaves one partner feeling judged, shamed, disregarded, insecure or wanting to withdraw from the conversation. Negative communication also includes the tone of conversation because it’s not always what you say, but how you say it. Negative communication can escalate into emotional abuse as well as non-verbal communication.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/02/marriage-counseling-_n_5412473.html

How We Became Strangers

There are several things we need in order to survive: food, water, and air to name a few. Nothing hurts quite like a failing marriage, and there is no loneliness as intense as living with a stranger, especially one that used to be your best friend. Just like we need these essentials to survive physically, marriages need certain things to survive emotionally. Marriages need love, trust, truth, patience, kindness, and understanding. When a marriage is deprived of such things, it can slowly begin to die.”

unhappy couple

A sexy courtship, a marriage, a young son. And then a courteous drifting apart. But an icy glimpse into her future brought Jill Bialosky back to the love of her life.

I sat at an outdoor café with an old friend I hadn’t seen in nearly a year. It was spring. The pond was beginning to thaw. The daffodils were in bloom. Triangles and rectangles of pale yellows lay patchwork style around the trees. A teenage girl with a series of pierces in her earlobe tucked her hand into her boyfriend’s back pocket as they waited for a table, and I remembered the boy who had slipped his hands into the pockets of my hiphuggers and asked, “Do you want to?” before we lay down in the grass. At the table next to us, a couple hovered over their cappuccinos in intense conversation. I noticed the woman had taken off her slingback sandal and was rubbing her bare foot against the calf of the man across from her. My friend and I conversed nonstop. We moaned about how tired we were, between cupcakes to make for the class picnic, expense reports to finish, a novel that needed to be turned in. The long, lavish lunch was a brief intermission in our lives. We gossiped about mutual friends and fantasized about trips to Italy and France. During dips in our conversation, I found myself looking at the teenage couple now seated at a table, their chairs side by side. They kissed. The boy with the lean body underneath a V-neck sweater put his hand under the back of his girlfriend’s shirt. Our conversation moved to our children, kindergartens, tantrums, bed-wets. We talked about our mothers and sisters. At the end of the lunch, my friend looked into my eyes as if she were peering into the farthest reaches of my soul and asked me about my marriage. “Are you guys having sex?” she asked bluntly. And this image blossomed in my head of D.’s face covered in pox marks as he lay on our couch, miserable and not talking, quarantined in our house like a leper, having caught chicken pox from our son. I wanted to burst out laughing.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/How-to-Revive-Your-Marriage-O-Magazine

What Can I Say That’s Actually Helpful in Times of Grief?

“When a friend loses a loved one, our hearts ache for them. We want so much to comfort, soothe and make things better, yet we end up sputtering out the wrong words because we don’t know what to say when someone dies. There will be times outside the funeral when you will see your friend or family member whose loved one has died. Don’t avoid the situation completely. The first time you see the person go ahead and offer your condolences. If you avoid the situation, you will either make the other person uncomfortable or lead them to believe that you haven’t yet heard the news.”

What Can I Say That's Actually Helpful in Times of Grief?

Dear Lifehacker,
This year has been a very difficult one for me. A close friend passed away and a few other people I know also lost loved ones. I never know what to say or how to act at times like these. What can I say when nothing seems appropriate or it all sounds like cliches?

Signed,
Stumbling for Words

Dear Stumbling,
We’re sorry to hear that. It’s hard not to feel at a loss for words. When someone you care about or know is grieving, words don’t seem to be enough. Expressing your care and support, though, could do a world of good for both the other person and yourself.

 While there’s really no “right” or “wrong” way to help someone grieve, some things might be better to say than others. I spoke with several mental health experts and those familiar with bereavement to find the best approach for this awkward and tough situation we unfortunately all experience.

What to Avoid Saying

Some phrases and words of advice, even if they’re well-intentioned, could make others feel worse and magnify their grief. In general, try to avoid:

Comparing their loss to yours: When someone dies, it makes us think about our own experiences, but saying “I know just how you feel—when my mother/friend/dog died last year…” isn’t comforting. Even though you’re trying to help or connect by empathizing, it might feel insulting to the other person, like you’re trying to minimize the pain he or she is feeling. Andrew Moore, a licensed professional counselor at the University of Oklahoma HSC, says that even if there are similarities to your experiences, their experience is still unique to them. Every death is also unique. A more appropriate response may be to acknowledge—without direction and empathy—that this is a difficult time, e.g., “This must be very difficult, and I can’t truly understand what it must be like right now,” offers clinical social worker Stuart Strauzer. Then give more comforting words or gestures of support (see below).

Read more: http://lifehacker.com/5941009/what-can-i-say-thats-actually-helpful-in-times-of-grief